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~ Our Miracle Story ~
Hi, I'm
Annette, one of Alonzo's daughters. I have a twin Anita. I'm 37 and just
now
getting to know the joy of motherhood. Here's a capsulation of life
at the
Landrum's
up to the point of our personal miracle.
~*~
Gary and I were married on April 3, 1982. As I think back to how far we
have
come
thru our marriage I know that if God had not been with us we would have
never
survived our infertility alone. I remember from the day we were married,
how
much I dreamed to have a baby.
At first
Gary wanted to wait a couple of years before starting to raise a family,
but
after seeing how much I longed to be a mommy he decided we could start
trying
after six months of our wedding day.
I was
so excited and began preparing for our baby! I fixed up a nursery,
bought
maternity
clothes, etc.. Little did I know then that it would take us 18 1/2
years
before
our dream would come true. I decorated four different nurseries during
our
marriage always believing and praying that God would bless us with a baby.
We went
thru fertility treatments after we had been married five years without
any
success of getting pregnant. I guess I always thought that it must be Gary
who
had the problem because surely it wouldn't be me because my mom had
sixteen
children and my sisters all had children. Our first diagnosis with
infertility
specialists was indeterminate. So we stopped going to fertility doctors
because
nothing they did seemed to work.
I decided
to get my mind off of it for a while so we bought a Pizza King
restaurant
franchise that we owned for eight years. The fast food business soon
got
to be very stressful, trying to keep up with all the other competition
out there.
So we
made the decision to sell the franchise.
When
we reached the 15 year mark in our marriage, we decided to go back to
fertility
specialists one more round, hoping that maybe things had advanced in
the
last 10 years. We both needed to know one way or another if we were ever
going
to be able to have children.
We went
thru one more year of the emotional roller coaster ride of fertility
treatments
and the doctor finally came to the conclusion that I had probably
been
miscarrying our whole marriage. Each month I would abort within two
weeks
of conception. The doctor said I didn't have enough progesterone to keep
from
miscarrying. He kept putting me on natural progesterone but never
enough.
After going thru all of that we decided that enough was enough and if
God
wanted us to have a baby we would.
~*~
This
Is Where Our Miracle Begins
Gary
and I really didn't want the internet in our home because of all the bad
we
had
heard about it. But after wanting to try and expand my 'Victorian
Lampshades'
business we decided to go on line for that. Well our very first night
we had
the internet turned on I decided to do a search on infertility. I thought
maybe
someone out there may have an answer for my progesterone problem?
In
my first
set of web sites there was a listing for a site called "Hannah's Prayers"!
I
just knew it had to be biblical and I got goose bumps from head to toe.
You see
for the past four years every time I got discouraged over not having a
baby
I would
open my bible and it would always fall open to 'Hannah' and how God
blessed
her with a baby. Every time that would happen I just knew God was
going
to bless
us with a baby!
So, when
I found this site without looking for it I decided to check it out. On
her
site
was a listing for "Christian Adoption" - right away I thought no on adoption.
In the
past Gary and I had went thru three adoption scams and had never thought
any
more on adoption because of all the hurt we had been thru in the past.
Nevertheless,
because of my great desire to learn more, I studied the rest of
Hannah's
site, and before the night was over I got pulled back to check out this
"Christian
Adoption!" I was on that site for over four hours that first night
and
felt
such a strong feeling that this was where God was going to send our baby
thru.
I cried
and rejoiced when I read all the other couple's stories and saw pictures
of
all
the couples with their babies they had gotten right here in the states
and right
from
the hospital. It felt like it was too good to be true!
The next
morning I checked it out thru the better business bureau, checked out
all
the references that were listed thru christian adoption, and everything
came
back
with such positive letters. I told Gary about all of this and how strong
of a
feeling
I had about this and how I found this site not even looking for it!
He
thought
I was nuts to even think about going thru the internet!!!
I was
so computer illiterate that I didn't know much about web sites and links,
and
in the beginning I thought "Hannah's Prayers" and "Christian Adoption"
was
the same place until all the references I contacted thru "Christian Adoption"
wanted
to know more about this "Hannah's Prayers" site. I finally found out
that
"Christian Adoption" was a link on "Hannah's Prayers" site.
Every
night I couldn't wait to check out "Christian Adoption" and to read more
on her
site. I kept trying to persuade Gary into letting us give this place
a try.
He just
wasn't ready for the internet plunge.
So, he
had me trying other directions with adoption and slowly but surely
"Christian
Adoption" kept getting pushed further and further to the back burner.
We had
our home study done in case we would adopt and when the social worker
came
to our home and met us she asked if we would ever consider becoming foster
parents
because we had so much to offer children?
We both
agreed that we would love to help children but couldn't foster because
it
would
break our hearts to let them go. She called again a few weeks later and
asked
if we could keep a 12 year old girl for a few days and that it would help
us
to get
our foot in the door if any kids came up for adoption thru the state. We
said
yes
but just for a few days. We didn't want to get attached. Low and behold
that
was
just the beginning of the nightmare that would last for over a year.
Eventually
they had talked us into four children and had run us thru the mill
with
taking them here, there, and everywhere! I was really getting depressed
and
discouraged with the whole thing.
In the
beginning we had said we would only foster if there was a very good
chance
for adoption! They used us and our hearts through out the rest of
the year.
One
day I got so depressed and had gotten the lowest that I had ever felt before
over
wanting a baby. I told God that I couldn't do it any more, I couldn't even
pray
any more for a baby, enough was enough and I gave totally up on any hope
for
a baby and got so depressed and was totally broken hearted. I must have
cried
a million
tears.
I got
a phone call from a local florist who was leaving a message on my answering
machine
that they had flowers for me. I didn't pick up the phone, I didn't want
any
flowers, at that point I didn't want anything! The florist delivered the
flowers
anyway!
I half-heartedly took them and set them on the counter and really didn't
even
look to see who they were from for a little while. I was too angry and
hurt
and
just didn't care!
When
I finally did look at the card it said "God Bless You, Christian Adoption!"
I
started crying and thanking God for bringing them back into my thoughts
once
again. I knew from the beginning there was something very special about
this
site. I called the lady from "Christian Adoption" and asked her of all
days
why
did she choose that day to send flowers and what prompted her to do so
in
the
first place?
She knew
nothing about what I was going thru, we hadn't talked in over four
months!
She said the week before God had put it on her mind to send me flowers
so she
looked for my address all week and couldn't find it. Then on Monday, the
14th
of February, she got up and my name and address was on the top of her
papers
on her desk so she said, "Okay God I'll send the flowers." So she
called
the
florist and tried to send flowers. They said they were too busy it was
Valentine's
Day and they asked that she call back the next day. She called the
next
day and they said they were still over loaded from the day before and
they
would deliver them the next day. She said, "okay, but make sure she gets
them
tomorrow!"
God knew
when to send the flowers, if I would have gotten them on Monday I
would
have thought how nice, but God knew exactly when I needed them! When
I had
given up all hope for a baby that's when 'He' stepped in and took over!
When
Gary came home from work and saw the flowers he finally agreed that
we could
go online with Christian adoption. We went online with them on March
18,
2000, and our birth mom said she read our story, probably that very first
night
it was
posted online. She waited until she was totally sure she would be able
to
do this
before she contacted us. She was attending college when she got pregnant
and
she made the decision to forego her education while carrying her child.
She
knew right away that she didn't want to have an abortion but she wasn't
thinking
of keeping the baby either. So, she started searching the internet for
christian
couples wanting to adopt. She found us on "Christian Adoption" and
she
said that she and her parents all agreed that this is what God would want!
She came to live with us her last six weeks of pregnancy and she got to
know us and
I was
able to watch our baby be born, be the first to hold her, speak to her,
and
to feed
our little 'Angel' sent straight from above!
Our adoption
is totally finalized now and our birth mom just wants to get on
with
her life. We've offered to stay in touch with pictures and videos, but
she
has
chosen to let go and move on with her life. We will always be grateful
for
the
time we did get to know her and her family. We thank God for letting her
find
us across
the miles - and via the internet!
I guess
that goes to show you that nothing is impossible with God on your side,
and
that 'Miracles' of the very real kind, do still happen!
We thank
God daily for blessing us with our Elizabeth "Hannah". I hope I
haven't
taken up too much of your time, but knowing you're all kinfolk here on
ShepherdWeb,
I just had to share our miracle story with all of you.
One of
these days Gary and I want to write a book about our road to Elizabeth,
but
for now we are just enjoying our time with her and sharing our family with
all
of you!
All my
love and blessings,
Annette
~*~
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